To be online or not to be online….

I’ve been struggling with the volume of screen time I’ve been taking as of late. I have actually caught myself ignoring live  beings to read a few news headlines or status updates. It’s so rude, I don’t tolerate it of others and yet this is exactly what I’ve been doing. Not all the time, but I caught myself today in lieu of playing with my kiddos responding to a non-urgent or relevant text. It was just joking around with a friend and I think I should have picked up the phone to chat live vs just fired off an awesomely witty one liner ( i was quite creative if I do say so myself ha ha).  I am constantly talking about being present, committing to the people in front of you. There were my kiddos waiting for me…and I was texting.

Ultimate hypocrite, that’s my deserved title.

That said, I am working on it! Tomorrow is Sunday and I’ve promised my kiddos, spouse and self that there will be no cell phones, no emails, no anything electronic. We may have a family wii battle – but that’s about it.  We have sunny skies with warm weather in the forecast, there is no reason to be indoors or online.

So why am I so freaked about being offline?

I tell my clients to log off and go play, I’m overdue in consistently taking my own advice.

GOPLAY

How much time do you commit to being offline / week?

Cookin’ with Kids

I have clients who comment about my ability to juggle the work do, the kiddos, my practice, my hubby (aka fourth child) and my obsessive compulsive need to prepare all our food myself etc. The usual question being “how do you do it?”. There’s no magic trick over here and I don’t have any quick fix solutions. It’s not easy peasy all the time BUT when something is important to you, you just make it work.
I could either snap and become the spazy frothy fire breathing villian in the kitchen (I say this from experience – I scare myself ha ha!), OR I could crack open a bottle of wine and find something to laugh about ( my usual way of handling said moments).
A few moments after this was taken the cheese sauce hit the table and my reward of three quiet kids inhaling dinner began.
At least it’s Friday. This means for two days I can pass this job off to my hubby…wahoo. Love the weekends!!
Happy Friday!
Be well.

A game changer…

Clearly I am leaning towards more the of the sucking side in terms of having lived up to my promise to self to blog more.

I made a few such promises to myself. One being blogging, I do love writing. The second being exploring different ways of working out. I’ve grown away from the gym environment lately.  I love weight training, I’m just not digging the gym itself.  And so I have been. It’s been fun. My third, my game changer is this:

Play More

 

Two simple words have changed the way I am experiencing my life.

I am really enjoying my time. I’m relaxing on things that used to make me uptight ( laundry) and just giving myself permission to take time out and play. The kids and I have ” wii battles”.  They may be six and seven but they are fair game when it comes to wii!

We’ve been enjoying board games or just playing outside in the snow. Regardless of what I’m ignoring in order to create time to do this, I’m really happy right now. I know in a blink of an eye these moments will pass. I see my eldest already wanting more time with her friends vs her amazingly cool mom.  It’s going to happen and there isn’t much I can do about that. That said, there is much about what I can do now. And so I am, one playful moment at a time.

I’m really grateful I took the time out to write for myself today. That said, I’m anxious to log off and get back to playing. Just writing about it confirms that this new motto is changing the way I feel about my life. I’m experiencing it, not just navigating through it.  This is new for me. It’s my new norm…I’m absolutely loving it.

Log off time!

Wishing you a wonderful and playful day,

N.

2012

When I sit here and think about last year, what an adventure!

It started off amazingly. We took our first ever family vacation to Disney in Florida. Awesome.

Shortly after we returned we discovered my hubby has cancer. Skin cancer. The same as his father who passed away from cancer.  Not so awesome.

My colicky baby finally stopped screaming – THANK THE LORD – ALL LORDS!

I returned to work post mat leave – semi awesome depending on what’s happening. I miss being at home focused on only the kiddos.

I began and completed my courses for coaching.

I opened my practice and began certifying myself as a coach.

I discovered something about myself. I’ve been struggling with what it is I wanted out of my workouts/my physical self. I’ve previously always had specific image related/strength related goals. I can sculp myself into what I choose, but the results weren’t coming. My effort inconsistent  I realized it isn’t really my goal anymore. I don’t care about that, I see through it. I recognize the behavior and mindsets within myself that are damaging. Not just to me, but to my children, society at large. I am participating in something I don’t truly believe in – fitness. Wellness – yes. What is now identified as “fitness”, NO.
I’ve grown tired of seeing women working out in bikini’s with curves that cannot be made by Momma Nature herself with headlines like “fit women can be curvy”.  I am cautious on how I present this material as this is a non-judgmental statement and yet people I adore may be offended by my statements.  That is not my intention.  It’s how women in “fitness” are being presented and what women are sculpting themselves into that worries my soul.
What it is is that I want more for us. I know we are worth just as we are, we don’t need anything else. We don’t need boobs, tinted eyelashes, laser treatments, botox… We just need to be okay with ourselves. We are damaging our souls by following this path.
And so in this 2012 adventure of mine I have created my way of participating in change. If you believe in something and it’s cause and fail to take action on it why bother thinking it? It’s just a random passing thought then….
I have stopped acting mindlessly and started living on purpose.  I am bringing myself into the moment as much as possible. I want to be present in my life, not just running on auto pilot. This is what 2012 stirred up in me, advanced action.
My tiny steps towards my ultimate destination weren’t effective. It’s time to take bigger ones. Drastic ones. Whatever comes of it is still one step further than where I am now and that is exactly what I am aiming for. Movement. Purposeful movement.
I know exactly what I want in my life. For myself, for my children.  This clarity is new for me. Maybe as I was in baby making mode and distracted by screaming colicky babies BUT whatever it is, I’m clear now.
I’m also so grateful for my hubby.  I feel like this really strengthened this past year.  He’s amazing.  I’ve known he was amazing for years but it’s easy to get distracted by what is happening in the house.  I’m making a greater effort to be just as focused on us as the kids.  It’s lead to a great year. What should be the seven year itch has been more like a  honeymooney year. It’s been awesome.
And last but not least, I’ve learned that the greatest gifts I have in my life need to know they are my greatest gifts regularly.  Anything can happen in any given moment that removes your ability to speak this truth for yourself.  We have the gift of today, let’s celebrate it.
2013…this seems so “spacey” ha ha.  Back to the Future was one of my favorite movies and this was beyond the future they traveled to ha ha!!

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Now only if I had a flying car………

Be well.

Mad luv

Happy New Year!!!

Hitting the juice…

Life has been an adventure as of late. When I think of this past year and all that has been….. well, it’s led to a lot of wine ha ha. 

October is proving to be no less eventful than all previous months. We are ten days in and five of them were spent in hospital with my 18 month old.  She’s on the mend and back at home now. So grateful!!!

Now that my little monkey and I are back at home, it’s back to my need to address something I’ve been avoiding. 

I have had IBS for just over fifteen years now. Sometimes it is a non-issue. Other times, like lately, it’s impacted my over all well being. I’m a digestive disaster. The foods I rely on for weight management are becoming a problem. I’m shooting some of what I’m eating out within the hour.

I’m in the gym when I can, moving myself as much as possible, eating healthy foods and yet it’s all in vain. When you pass it out that quick there’s little of the health benefit being utilized by the body. Some staples in my diet are actually proving more of an issue than others. Like salads. The thirty minutes of enjoyment isn’t worth the torture that follows. Same goes with pretty much everything raw. 

So, in order to get the results I am seeking, I’m trying different things. An example, juicing!

I have researched ways to heal my condition using food. I’m not a pill popper and so I’m not really interested in my Dr’s prescription. It doesn’t address the problem, just temporarily disguises it.

One major life shift is to add green juice to the daily do (the thought being remove the pulp that interferes with my digestion and maximize on the enzymes and nutrients).  My uncle was an obsessed juicer while he fought Pancreatic Cancer. I admit I didn’t jump at the chance to partake despite his many attempts. It was very, well, green looking.

Now, a year later, here I am, a green juice consumer. It tastes like I am licking the front lawn BUT I feel amazing. 

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Wheat grass, kale, spinach, parsley, celery, cucumber….
I’ve learned a few tricks to lesson the foam from the grass since this pic :)

In addition to this I’ve also taken out red meat ( NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO), started eating Fish. I’m still working on the fish part….and am seriously mourning the absence of beef.

In the meantime it’s just nice to be home. Our Thanksgiving was full of thanks for amazing pediatric nurses, family/friends and good food (hospital food sucks! ).

I hope that those that were celebrating also enjoyed the opportunity to give thanks to those they love. It’s not just a one time event, take time every day to celebrate those you love. You never know when the moment may come wherein you wish you had ceased moments before…

Be well,

N.

Inspiration from 2 doors down…

Every now and then we are lucky to have someone cross our path or enter into our world that becomes this fresh and meaningful source of motivation.

It was parent teacher night at the school this evening and so I bumped into several people I haven’t seen in months.  

My daughter is in a new class and has new friends. One such friend lives two doors down. The girls have been eye balling each other in a curious way for years but neither took any measures to actually say HI to one another.  Her mother and I stood near each other in the school yard at pick up time ( you know once you have that “spot” that is exactly where you will be every day for the entire year).  

There was the occasional smile and odd hello. We’d never really had any opportunity to chat.

One day out of the blue we found that first opportunity.  She was backing out of her driveway and as I walked towards her on route to pick up my daughter when she rolled down the window and asked if I wanted a ride. I didn’t even hesitate. Which completely opposes everything I tell my children to do…

In that short seven minute ride I discovered my neighbour was on a journey to lose 75lbs and reclaim her life. She was down 40 lbs before it was confirmed she has MS. She had already been working on creating a lifestyle that included strength training and walking. She knew she had already created a solid foundation for herself to work with and so she was positive about everything. That was last spring.

Fast forward to tonight and our daughters are now BFF’s sitting beside each other in grade 2. 

As I walked into the class room she stood before me speaking with the girls teacher. She looked amazing. Her skin, her smile, her energy shone through. She was glowing. I would guess she is nearing her finish line!

I am so moved by her right now.  I am guilty of making excuses for myself at times.  I know what I am capable of and yet I don’t always draw upon my abilities.   Every day there are these amazing people accomplishing amazing things for themselves one push up at a time.

I came home and worked out.  

I found my new source of inspiration….

September = time baby! The kiddos are back in school :)

Things have been so busy I forgot about my blog. I have spent some time on-line, but no where the volume I was six months ago.

“Me” time has been on the steady decline. My 6 year old and 5 year old both have social agenda’s that require my transporting/hanging with parents. I’m not complaining. It’s just so different than life was just one year ago! The result meant offline time with the kiddos over summer vacation. I will say, although I love them, I had a GREAT first day of school.

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Courtesy of Funny or Die

It’s amazing how productive I was! Back in the gym, meals cooked, snacks prepared. Amazing. I had been on vacation for two weeks leading into the Labour Day weekend. My boss suggested when I initially requested the time to add the first day of school if I’d like. It was soooo worth it.

Now that; I’m back at work, the kids have made NEW friends in addition to the existing friends, lessons for the kiddos have started, I’m working towards my CPCC as of Sept 18th which is approx 10 hrs/wk + client work….I’m feeling a bit pinched for time.

What does that do for me? Well, it seems to lead to more wine really.  By the time I get to sit down at night I find myself practically inhaling my wine. My husband and I have, post vacation mass consumption, now placed limits on ourselves during the week. I could not believe the empties pile post vaca. I’m making him take it back this time!!

My workouts aren’t as relaxing as they once were. I have such an agenda by the time I’m at the gym my one factor of stress is time. I can’t go more than 30 minutes, so every minute counts.  I’m getting in power workouts, but sometimes wish I could stay longer to stretch. I squeeze that in after the kids go down but it would be waaaaaaaaaaaay more relaxing to do so post workout.  The upside to the style of workouts I am completing in the gym is I am gaining some serious strength. My ISO Rows are back to what I once could pull prior to my baby break.  I love it.  Now only if I could actually do an unassisted pull up. I’m working on it!

Otherwise, life is good. My daughter has begun grade 2. Her tears from the discovery that none of her friends from last year were in her new class have since stopped. She has found a new friend two doors down and they are hilarious together.

My son is the big cheese in SK. I have no idea how they squeeze learning into the two milliseconds he spends in his class ( you blink and it’s pick up time ).

Rachel is now 17 months old and never stops moving. She dances, she sings. She is awesome. I love this phase.  It won’t be long now until she is as expressive of her dislikes like her siblings….

Life is pretty amazing right now. I’m trying to take time intentionally to just be with myself and my family / friends. It’s easy to let my schedule run me. It’s going to be a really heavy seven months with my course certification, my work, the famdamily…. but I’ve chosen it. So, to make it work and to create the balance I want in my life…less on-line time.

I love these moments where in I get to write. It’s one of my favorite releases. It also means, however, that I’m sitting on my butt…I should get up and move!

<3.

N.

 

Laying the foundation…

The time has come for me to launch this next chapter of my fitness/wellness business and I find myself toggling between perspectives.

In listening to clientele at present, as well as, potential clients, I recognize now more than ever how the way we measure our successes at present really tear us down vs build us up. Stepping on the scale in front of large groups, points systems – these can cause more harm then they can good. The scale does not at all reflect one’s wellness and yet it is used as a tool to determine if someone is “successful” in their attempt to control their physical well being.

I’ve decided this is not the side of wellness or fitness I want to focus on.

My target audience is women. Single women, mothers, daughters….females.  I can relate to women (naturally ha ha) and so I want more for them.  Their lives should be more than numerically focused. It’s time to change it up and bring women to a new level of awareness.

We are more than we are currently seen at present.

We are capable of pushing and lifting heavy weights. We are capable of strength, power, determination.  We are capable of leading our families to another way of living, one that honors their well being and their inner selves vs becoming the next woman working out in a bikini and see-through heels. Image

 

As I sit here attempting to recreate my professional pathway I really wonder what it’s going to take for us to retrain our way of thinking.  How do I empower women to be themselves vs a societal byproduct?

Not sure.

But it’s time to open some wine and ponder this….

I’m not your usual wellness woman. I’ve competed and seen the error in that lifestyles ways. I’ve denied myself things saying it was in my best interest. I know better now…and this knowledge means no more denying myself wine to save an inch on my waist. I workout, I eat real food, I drink wine. I have muscles and am continuing to lose the prego blub.

I’ve, after a decade of searching, finally found balance.

Amen…

Blind to the obvious…

Once a summer, in July, my hubby and I receive a “pass”.  It’s an over night babysitting gig via my hubby’s mother. We are not in the habit of rejecting this type of generosity as once you have a third child, babysitter’s disappear.

July is both my husband’s, as well as, my birthday month. It’s also our wedding anniversary. It’s the perfect reason to leave over night, that’s for sure!

I will say, my mother in law was awesome. She arrived at 8am Saturday morning and told Dave and I to take off.  We were out within twenty minutes.  I don’t recall showering at that speed in a long time but I was really impressed with our ability to exit quickly and fully prepared!  We had not yet packed before she arrived. Really an amazing accomplishment, I was very proud of us.

Our check in time was 3pm. It was 8:30am. It was a gorgeous summer day. The sun was shining, the humidity was non existent.  It was hot, cloudless and gorgeous.

After first having stuffed our faces in at a local breakfast place, we opted to hop on a boat and head over to Toronto Island.

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Toronto, ON

I have not been to the Island in years. Many, many years. I was a kid.

It is so beautiful there.  Dave and I loved the boat ride over.  We were kid-less and so the mission was to hit a patio and have a beer immediately. It was just past 11am.

We arrived and immediately claimed the last of the waterside tables.  We sat here for a few hours enjoying pints and sharing some food.  It was fantastic. I miss this grown up time. Where you can just sit back and not worry about washroom trips, who peed their pants, why is the baby screaming, why aren’t they eating and what not.

We didn’t have to drive. We had no time lines or schedules to adhere to.  For the first time in ages, this was just “us” time with no agenda.

That first stop at the restaurant pretty much set the tone for the day.

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My handsome hubby waterside on the patio….

We wandered around the island, soaking in what we both forgot existed within our little universe. After returning via boat to the city we just wandered around the water front. Again reminded of what’s been right in front of us the entire time.

It was absolutely gorgeous. The day was awesome. Pints on different patio’s. We ate well. We met up with friends and then spent our evening alone together.  The Royal York hotel was great (location is amazing for wandering around).

Not only did I re-discover Toronto, I was reminded of how much fun it is just hanging out with Dave.  We enjoy each other. We like spending time with each other.  Get away’s like this allow you to really, really have fun with one another. We were only away for just over 24 hours and I feel so very full right now.  We’ve been smiling all week.

Or maybe our bodies just don’t know how to respond to actually sleeping.  One passes out quite heavily post many pints a’wanderin’ the town!!

I was really impressed though with our ability to plan ahead.

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First time ever having breakfast delivered to the room. Ridiculous amount of money for a bran muffin and fruit BUT worth every penny for the carafe of coffee!

Not only did we sleep in ( just past 8am!! MIRACLE. Can’t believe we made it that late!),  but we didn’t have to feed people. They fed us. Amazing.

I’ve got so many ideas on how to spend time with the kiddos now that we’ve seen all that we have. Family bike rides on the water front. Ferry rides, family bikes ( 4 ppl bikes) and picnics on the island.  I love how inexpensive these ideas are AND that they remind us all that has been in front of us the entire time.

There’s so much more than the hustle and bustle available to us.

I will also say of myself this past weekend, I ate well. Really well. We found locations with organic chicken breasts and salads…I felt so well.

Beer and salad. Yum.

Workin’ from home…

Recently I’ve been fortunate enough to shift from an office based office, to a home based office.  It feels for lack of more profound sounding words, weird.  We’ve been trained to do things in certain periods of time.  For years routines have been drilled into us;  you must do this, arrive at this time, sit there for this amount of time.

I am an okay employee. I’m not their top producer, I lack that passion and drive that upper managers posses, but I’m not their worst employee. I’m personable, dependable, driven and focused. I’m just not passionate about the corporate side of life. I’m a people person, that’s it.

So being at home on company time is, well, weird.

I’m sitting here with bed head, hideous orange shorts and an incredibly unattractive yellow tank top. I have no shoes on,  I’ve done nothing with myself. I think I put deodorant on last night, but I’m not sure.

I’ve brushed my teeth ( but not my hair, I have very curly hair so to brush it would transform me into a white Diana Ross).  I can’t actually recall if I washed my face or not and I’m very well fed.

I’ve already accomplished the tasks I had laid out for myself today. It’s 11 AM.

Do I put more time in and diminish my seriously low-level productivity I’ve presented them for years? OR show I am capable of more in my home based office? Clearly not socializing has its benefits. I’m way too productive!

Most of my days I am scheduled into a training session. I run product or skill based corporate training either via Webex – an online classroom, or, face to face sessions.  I love my job.

I did not expect that at this phase of my life I would have this opportunity to work this way.  I feel so…relaxed.  I am no longer the fire-breathing dragon spazing all over my children as I have four milliseconds to get out the door to beat traffic to get to the office to log in on time.  I can just walk over and log in now while my coffee is brewing.

The down side, I don’t feel this sense of urgency with anything now really.  My manic go-go person had me doing everything as fast as humanly possible to get to the next objective. Now, no worries man….it’ll happen.

I’m gardening on my lunch hours.  I’m working out a few times / week.  I’m cutting the grass on lunch hour once a week. My weekends are so calm as I’m not rushing to get things done – they are done. I’ve been tackling them one by one daily during the week and suddenly – there’s a lot more time for Rum punch!

That said, I spend last week researching meditation and am starting to set aside time to meditate daily now. I want more. I want depth. I don’t just want to feel well or eat well, I want to BE well. All of me, including my soul.

I’m one week away from my 38th birthday and I feel so…peaceful. If this is the pace of the next chapter in my life – I love it. I can’t wait to see who I can grow into.  I’m starting to live my life on purpose and with this weird but awesome sense of self.

I can lift and push more than I thought I could in my workouts (still loving pressing more than some of the boys are and with proper form ha ha).  I’m at a fantastic place in my career. My kids are growing into amazing little people. I’m doing less of what has been instilled in me (the “you should”) and more of the living in the moment with the present me.

Bottom line, I’m realizing something. We have so much more power and control over our lives than we acknowledge. We control how things play out, we just have to play our cards smarter.  I’m playing strategically now, in my best interest.  I’ve realized, at long last, I’m worth it.

Courtesy of google

 

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