All posts tagged working mom

To froth or not to froth….a day can make a difference.

So it turns out, I’m not my mother, my period just showed up early. It’s got attitude lately. I’m too young for menopause ( or am I? Is that what random chin hairs indicates?)…right? 

I don’t know that I like where my cycle is taking me lately (and right about now the male audience is tuning out / clicking elsewhere), and I know I am not alone. My girlfriends are also acting crazy. Sometimes what makes me feel better about myself is them sharing how insane they have been. I can use that material to remind my  husband he is fortunate to have me….

My husband, for years now, has been saying “chicks are crazy”. His three elder sisters have forever changed how he sees the entire female population. The thing is, myself included here, the examples he has to work with are proving his hypothesis to be correct…..

There is a great book: Consciously Female How to Listen to Your Body and Your Soul For a Healthier Lifetime of Living.  A lot of what it shares in there has changed how I experience myself and my cycle. That said, there are times where your animal side comes out and LOOK OUT WORLD!

This includes going from completely insane ranting lunatic, to being unable to speak due to uncontrollable sobbing. That came last night…..
The upside? Today – I feel AWESOME. So light, care free. I just had to lose my shit for a day and VOILA – the world is rainbows and fairies again. 

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I was very well behaved this morning.  There were moments where sparks started to generate within, like when; my son pulled out the Father’s Day present we’ve been secretly working on for about a week now and showed him, or my daughter snapping that she has nothing to wear followed by my youngest, whom is potty training, taking a dump in her underpants…….I kept it together. I took a deep breath and noted…it’s just twelve hours to go until wine……………………

Wishing you a day full of rainbows and fairies…and a great big glass o’wine :)

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by Metamorphing Momma! on June 13, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on June 13, 2013

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2013/06/13/to-froth-or-not-to-froth-a-day-can-make-a-difference/

Mark this day….

Well, this is it. It has happened. I have officially morphed into my mother. I heard myself this morning. Spazing, frothing at the mouth. My nostrils were so flared I could have sucked all three kids up while inhaling so as to have enough air to re-release.  I heard this sound coming firing out of my mouth that was exactly what my mother used to sound like when she was freaking out in the kitchen many moons ago.

I had a f’n meltdown over absolutely nothing in the kitchen this morning. I think someone whined or I stepped on Lego. I cannot remember which was first. By the end of moment, all three kids were crying and my husband was apologizing to them for my behavior. I think I might be burnt out….but not sure if the signs are totally clear yet. 

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Okay so it was not totally over nothing. The thing is sometimes if you reveal your whole truth in that moment you could completely devastate the other person.  There are situations that arise that sometimes mean shit is going to happen and even though you said it was okay, in the end, it’s a boat load more than you acknowledged it would be.

My husband is working insane hours. My kids just started their summer sports. I literally am dragging young mostly unco-operative arses everywhere Monday through Thursday. Friday, I refuse. I crack beer early and refuse to take anyone anywhere for any reason. My husband is on any bday party duty that may arise, I’m checkin’ out. I know my husband is stressed and burnt out as well, but, my pressure valve cracked this morning and now, well…it’s out there! 

How do people do this and not lose their shit or become raging alcoholics? Seriously, this is insane.  I am a very organized person. I can multi task like a bad ass.  I admit I sacrifice things that matter to me when the timing gets tight. Sometimes twenty minutes hiding in a corner with a cup of hot coffee is worth not doing laundry even though I know it will lead to someone crying that they have nothing to wear the next morning….

I will have to do some damage control after work today. Mum is going to have to eat some crow and confess to being human vs super human.  Maybe it will inspire them to pick up their Lego….it’s definitely inspired me to stop and pick up a “good” bottle of wine tonight. I’m on ass kissing duty now…..lol. Nine years of marriage this summer. I think a totally over done meltdown is in order every now and then! Only for me of course, he has to keep his shit together……………………………………….or start doing laundry. 

 

 

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by Metamorphing Momma! on June 12, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on June 12, 2013

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2013/06/12/mark-this-day/

I did it, and the world didn’t end!

Who knew I could do it. I went a whole day without texting, logging on or such. The world didn’t end, no tragedies unfolded,  and…the kiddos were so happy to be with me! Holy ego boosting, I should have put my phone down a while ago.  It’s amazing how positive the kids are when they realize the whole focus is on them vs shared with gizmo’s and gadgets galore. 

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courtesy of google

We all have them, those friends who you get together with who never put their phone away. It may have taken weeks to dedicate time to get together and there they are, texting away to others while your live ass is right in front of them. I cannot stand it. I find it to be so rude and inconsiderate, especially when I’ve dragged myself out (when really I just wanted to pop the big bra off and get in my jammies!).  

What I didn’t realize was how often I’ve been like that around my kiddos. My hubby will text me, my friends and while I am making dinner or whatever I’m reading and replying with my live little monkeys around me. What message am I sending them?

My folks, their folks, my friends and cousins (same age or older-the younger ones would “die” if they did this apparently) all survived without being this connected. We were ok with waiting for letters to take a week to get to each other and feverishly wrote back excited about the reply that would come in a few weeks. Who knew what could unfold in that gap? Well now, there is no gap. If someone farts they have a status update about it….you know what’s going down in almost real time. 

I’m keeping screen-less Sundays (my hubby is still dealing with his addiction and cannot fully commit at this time LOL). IF people want to reach me, they have to use that old fashioned land line OR get in their car and come see me. It ‘s a crazy wild idea, I know…but I’m liking it….

Has anyone else taken this plunge?  What did you realize?

 

Wishing you a wonderful Monday,

Cheers!

Nicole  

 

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by Metamorphing Momma! on May 6, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on May 6, 2013

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2013/05/06/i-did-it-and-the-world-didnt-end/

To be online or not to be online….

I’ve been struggling with the volume of screen time I’ve been taking as of late. I have actually caught myself ignoring live  beings to read a few news headlines or status updates. It’s so rude, I don’t tolerate it of others and yet this is exactly what I’ve been doing. Not all the time, but I caught myself today in lieu of playing with my kiddos responding to a non-urgent or relevant text. It was just joking around with a friend and I think I should have picked up the phone to chat live vs just fired off an awesomely witty one liner ( i was quite creative if I do say so myself ha ha).  I am constantly talking about being present, committing to the people in front of you. There were my kiddos waiting for me…and I was texting.

Ultimate hypocrite, that’s my deserved title.

That said, I am working on it! Tomorrow is Sunday and I’ve promised my kiddos, spouse and self that there will be no cell phones, no emails, no anything electronic. We may have a family wii battle – but that’s about it.  We have sunny skies with warm weather in the forecast, there is no reason to be indoors or online.

So why am I so freaked about being offline?

I tell my clients to log off and go play, I’m overdue in consistently taking my own advice.

GOPLAY

How much time do you commit to being offline / week?

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by Metamorphing Momma! on May 4, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on May 4, 2013

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2013/05/04/to-be-online-or-not-to-be-online/

Vino…..

I was standing in the school yard the other morning yapping with a friend whose children attend the same school.  Somehow or another we got talking wine.

It makes me smile when I think of how many conversations I’ve had lately wherein wine came up. We start off talking like we are modest consumers…and then somehow a few minutes later we are both confessing to multiple bottle experiences on multiple occasions per week. 

I’ve lied to every Doctor I have about the volume of vino I consume. When I confess to 7-10 glasses per week they are mortified and review how women absorb and react to alcohol differently than men and thus I am to proceed with extreme caution. Yet regardless of the warnings and/or my bodies own physical revolt to my behavior…it continues. I really, really enjoy it.

I work by day and many times night (coaching practice is growing YAY), parent by evening and then once the lunches are made, kiddos are asleep, toys tidied, laundry folded (and maybe on a really, really good day put away the same day)…I plop my butt on the couch. Directly beside me, my partner in crime AKA my husband. He is a custom cabinet maker by day and usually is unable to even take ten minutes as a break or space to himself upon arrival home. He’s the victim of absence. I work from home. They see me. He works at the shop….they miss him. He walks in the door and BLAM….like flies on flypaper.  For me it is absolutely awesome and I count down the minutes until he arrives. I smile, ask about his day and know full well I will likely never hear the full response as the kids are already attacking him.  It’s our little routine and it completely works for me….the calm before the dinner storm. 

Some days the wine opens at five. Oh who am I kidding, most days there’s wine at 5.  That’s when I am preparing dinner with three children hanging off me….picking at what I am preparing. Some days openly whining while I prepare it about their displeasure with my selection or a want for something I don’t have in the house. Like Salmon. I really dislike fish.  I can’t cook it. The smell puts me right over the edge and then I can’t eat it. It has to be BBQ’d to keep the cooking of fish smell out of the house….. 

I know some will be reading this thinking OMG She is a total alcoholic. By their standards I guess I am. What makes me feel better about it is that I’m totally not alone. I’m really quite normal by comparison to those around me. They are good people!! So am I…. besides…when I use my big goblets…it’s just a glass a day…….

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via Google

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by Metamorphing Momma! on March 28, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on March 28, 2013

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2013/03/28/vino/

A game changer…

Clearly I am leaning towards more the of the sucking side in terms of having lived up to my promise to self to blog more.

I made a few such promises to myself. One being blogging, I do love writing. The second being exploring different ways of working out. I’ve grown away from the gym environment lately.  I love weight training, I’m just not digging the gym itself.  And so I have been. It’s been fun. My third, my game changer is this:

Play More

 

Two simple words have changed the way I am experiencing my life.

I am really enjoying my time. I’m relaxing on things that used to make me uptight ( laundry) and just giving myself permission to take time out and play. The kids and I have ” wii battles”.  They may be six and seven but they are fair game when it comes to wii!

We’ve been enjoying board games or just playing outside in the snow. Regardless of what I’m ignoring in order to create time to do this, I’m really happy right now. I know in a blink of an eye these moments will pass. I see my eldest already wanting more time with her friends vs her amazingly cool mom.  It’s going to happen and there isn’t much I can do about that. That said, there is much about what I can do now. And so I am, one playful moment at a time.

I’m really grateful I took the time out to write for myself today. That said, I’m anxious to log off and get back to playing. Just writing about it confirms that this new motto is changing the way I feel about my life. I’m experiencing it, not just navigating through it.  This is new for me. It’s my new norm…I’m absolutely loving it.

Log off time!

Wishing you a wonderful and playful day,

N.

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by Metamorphing Momma! on February 23, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on February 23, 2013

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2013/02/23/a-game-changer/

2012

When I sit here and think about last year, what an adventure!

It started off amazingly. We took our first ever family vacation to Disney in Florida. Awesome.

Shortly after we returned we discovered my hubby has cancer. Skin cancer. The same as his father who passed away from cancer.  Not so awesome.

My colicky baby finally stopped screaming – THANK THE LORD – ALL LORDS!

I returned to work post mat leave – semi awesome depending on what’s happening. I miss being at home focused on only the kiddos.

I began and completed my courses for coaching.

I opened my practice and began certifying myself as a coach.

I discovered something about myself. I’ve been struggling with what it is I wanted out of my workouts/my physical self. I’ve previously always had specific image related/strength related goals. I can sculp myself into what I choose, but the results weren’t coming. My effort inconsistent  I realized it isn’t really my goal anymore. I don’t care about that, I see through it. I recognize the behavior and mindsets within myself that are damaging. Not just to me, but to my children, society at large. I am participating in something I don’t truly believe in – fitness. Wellness – yes. What is now identified as “fitness”, NO.
I’ve grown tired of seeing women working out in bikini’s with curves that cannot be made by Momma Nature herself with headlines like “fit women can be curvy”.  I am cautious on how I present this material as this is a non-judgmental statement and yet people I adore may be offended by my statements.  That is not my intention.  It’s how women in “fitness” are being presented and what women are sculpting themselves into that worries my soul.
What it is is that I want more for us. I know we are worth just as we are, we don’t need anything else. We don’t need boobs, tinted eyelashes, laser treatments, botox… We just need to be okay with ourselves. We are damaging our souls by following this path.
And so in this 2012 adventure of mine I have created my way of participating in change. If you believe in something and it’s cause and fail to take action on it why bother thinking it? It’s just a random passing thought then….
I have stopped acting mindlessly and started living on purpose.  I am bringing myself into the moment as much as possible. I want to be present in my life, not just running on auto pilot. This is what 2012 stirred up in me, advanced action.
My tiny steps towards my ultimate destination weren’t effective. It’s time to take bigger ones. Drastic ones. Whatever comes of it is still one step further than where I am now and that is exactly what I am aiming for. Movement. Purposeful movement.
I know exactly what I want in my life. For myself, for my children.  This clarity is new for me. Maybe as I was in baby making mode and distracted by screaming colicky babies BUT whatever it is, I’m clear now.
I’m also so grateful for my hubby.  I feel like this really strengthened this past year.  He’s amazing.  I’ve known he was amazing for years but it’s easy to get distracted by what is happening in the house.  I’m making a greater effort to be just as focused on us as the kids.  It’s lead to a great year. What should be the seven year itch has been more like a  honeymooney year. It’s been awesome.
And last but not least, I’ve learned that the greatest gifts I have in my life need to know they are my greatest gifts regularly.  Anything can happen in any given moment that removes your ability to speak this truth for yourself.  We have the gift of today, let’s celebrate it.
2013…this seems so “spacey” ha ha.  Back to the Future was one of my favorite movies and this was beyond the future they traveled to ha ha!!

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Now only if I had a flying car………

Be well.

Mad luv

Happy New Year!!!

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by Metamorphing Momma! on December 31, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on December 31, 2012

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2012/12/31/2012-2/

Laying the foundation…

The time has come for me to launch this next chapter of my fitness/wellness business and I find myself toggling between perspectives.

In listening to clientele at present, as well as, potential clients, I recognize now more than ever how the way we measure our successes at present really tear us down vs build us up. Stepping on the scale in front of large groups, points systems – these can cause more harm then they can good. The scale does not at all reflect one’s wellness and yet it is used as a tool to determine if someone is “successful” in their attempt to control their physical well being.

I’ve decided this is not the side of wellness or fitness I want to focus on.

My target audience is women. Single women, mothers, daughters….females.  I can relate to women (naturally ha ha) and so I want more for them.  Their lives should be more than numerically focused. It’s time to change it up and bring women to a new level of awareness.

We are more than we are currently seen at present.

We are capable of pushing and lifting heavy weights. We are capable of strength, power, determination.  We are capable of leading our families to another way of living, one that honors their well being and their inner selves vs becoming the next woman working out in a bikini and see-through heels. Image

 

As I sit here attempting to recreate my professional pathway I really wonder what it’s going to take for us to retrain our way of thinking.  How do I empower women to be themselves vs a societal byproduct?

Not sure.

But it’s time to open some wine and ponder this….

I’m not your usual wellness woman. I’ve competed and seen the error in that lifestyles ways. I’ve denied myself things saying it was in my best interest. I know better now…and this knowledge means no more denying myself wine to save an inch on my waist. I workout, I eat real food, I drink wine. I have muscles and am continuing to lose the prego blub.

I’ve, after a decade of searching, finally found balance.

Amen…

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by Metamorphing Momma! on August 16, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on August 16, 2012

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2012/08/16/laying-the-foundation/

Workin’ from home…

Recently I’ve been fortunate enough to shift from an office based office, to a home based office.  It feels for lack of more profound sounding words, weird.  We’ve been trained to do things in certain periods of time.  For years routines have been drilled into us;  you must do this, arrive at this time, sit there for this amount of time.

I am an okay employee. I’m not their top producer, I lack that passion and drive that upper managers posses, but I’m not their worst employee. I’m personable, dependable, driven and focused. I’m just not passionate about the corporate side of life. I’m a people person, that’s it.

So being at home on company time is, well, weird.

I’m sitting here with bed head, hideous orange shorts and an incredibly unattractive yellow tank top. I have no shoes on,  I’ve done nothing with myself. I think I put deodorant on last night, but I’m not sure.

I’ve brushed my teeth ( but not my hair, I have very curly hair so to brush it would transform me into a white Diana Ross).  I can’t actually recall if I washed my face or not and I’m very well fed.

I’ve already accomplished the tasks I had laid out for myself today. It’s 11 AM.

Do I put more time in and diminish my seriously low-level productivity I’ve presented them for years? OR show I am capable of more in my home based office? Clearly not socializing has its benefits. I’m way too productive!

Most of my days I am scheduled into a training session. I run product or skill based corporate training either via Webex – an online classroom, or, face to face sessions.  I love my job.

I did not expect that at this phase of my life I would have this opportunity to work this way.  I feel so…relaxed.  I am no longer the fire-breathing dragon spazing all over my children as I have four milliseconds to get out the door to beat traffic to get to the office to log in on time.  I can just walk over and log in now while my coffee is brewing.

The down side, I don’t feel this sense of urgency with anything now really.  My manic go-go person had me doing everything as fast as humanly possible to get to the next objective. Now, no worries man….it’ll happen.

I’m gardening on my lunch hours.  I’m working out a few times / week.  I’m cutting the grass on lunch hour once a week. My weekends are so calm as I’m not rushing to get things done – they are done. I’ve been tackling them one by one daily during the week and suddenly – there’s a lot more time for Rum punch!

That said, I spend last week researching meditation and am starting to set aside time to meditate daily now. I want more. I want depth. I don’t just want to feel well or eat well, I want to BE well. All of me, including my soul.

I’m one week away from my 38th birthday and I feel so…peaceful. If this is the pace of the next chapter in my life – I love it. I can’t wait to see who I can grow into.  I’m starting to live my life on purpose and with this weird but awesome sense of self.

I can lift and push more than I thought I could in my workouts (still loving pressing more than some of the boys are and with proper form ha ha).  I’m at a fantastic place in my career. My kids are growing into amazing little people. I’m doing less of what has been instilled in me (the “you should”) and more of the living in the moment with the present me.

Bottom line, I’m realizing something. We have so much more power and control over our lives than we acknowledge. We control how things play out, we just have to play our cards smarter.  I’m playing strategically now, in my best interest.  I’ve realized, at long last, I’m worth it.

Courtesy of google

 

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by Metamorphing Momma! on July 16, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on July 16, 2012

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2012/07/16/workin-from-home/

Lessons learned along the way.

Once upon a time this had such different purpose.  Maybe I was more passionate about it or maybe it was really just that I had that extra time or drive, but I feel rather lack luster about it in comparison this time around.

I’ve taken all the same steps, followed what proved once to be successful for me in terms of staying focused and tracking successes (and lessons).  This time around, it’s very different.  I care, I sense I do indeed have passion surrounding this subject, but not PASSION.

I’m okay with not always executing things as planned.

This is not like me, not at all like me.

What I am discovering about the evolving me is that I am perfectly okay with going with what feels like I should be doing in that moment.  Not being lazy, there is a difference.  I am not okay with not executing my workout plan to sit on my ars. Arses expand with lack of mobility, that’s not what we are talking about here. I am okay with missing my workout to play with the kids. I am okay with missing my workout to sit down and have an hour lunch break with my kids or my hubby or a good friend.  I find other ways to move around all the while maximizing on the moments I have, while I have them.

This does not lead to the physical results I have longed for in the time frame I longed for.

So here’s what else I have learned, who cares.  It’s falling off, an inch or half-inch at a time. It will continue to do so until there isn’t chunks o’ post baby making chub to rid myself of….but I’m really enjoying my life right now.  I haven’t felt this satisfied with my life before.

This is something much more meaningful.  I discovered this by accident while focusing on my workouts.  My very meaningful workouts have led to another chapter in my life. A satisfied one. One where in I feel like I am living on purpose. I am doing exactly what I should be doing in the moments I sense I should be doing them.  I’m seizing moments to socialize or network when I would normally isolate myself in the gym.  I’m walking outdoors more and taking in the fresh air vs walking on the treadmill.  I feel very connected, very alive.  Very full.  My relationships are deepening as I invest my time into them. I’m focusing on my studies, my personal growth.  I’m now working from home and able to use my time to create a new balance in my life. I feel so fortunate right now.  I am realizing just how truly fortunate I am.

I sit here reflecting on my day feeling full.

Here’s the thing I love most about working out. It always leads to a deeper connection with self.  Investing time in myself leads to this sense of self love that opens  me to a new level of appreciation.  I know what I am capable of, I know I am capable of more.  Every time I set a goal for myself in my workout and achieve it ( a specific weight or rep amount for example), I KNOW I can do MORE.  We limit ourselves with our minds and I am no exception.

I’m opening my mind to more and creating more for myself in my life.  This is my commitment to self. It reaches far beyond the gym floor.

Courtesy of Google

 

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by Metamorphing Momma! on July 3, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Family life, Mom, Uncategorized, Wellness
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Posted by Metamorphing Momma! on July 3, 2012

http://metamorphingmomma.com/2012/07/03/lessons-learned-along-the-way/

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