Once upon a time this had such different purpose. Maybe I was more passionate about it or maybe it was really just that I had that extra time or drive, but I feel rather lack luster about it in comparison this time around.
I’ve taken all the same steps, followed what proved once to be successful for me in terms of staying focused and tracking successes (and lessons). This time around, it’s very different. I care, I sense I do indeed have passion surrounding this subject, but not PASSION.
I’m okay with not always executing things as planned.
This is not like me, not at all like me.
What I am discovering about the evolving me is that I am perfectly okay with going with what feels like I should be doing in that moment. Not being lazy, there is a difference. I am not okay with not executing my workout plan to sit on my ars. Arses expand with lack of mobility, that’s not what we are talking about here. I am okay with missing my workout to play with the kids. I am okay with missing my workout to sit down and have an hour lunch break with my kids or my hubby or a good friend. I find other ways to move around all the while maximizing on the moments I have, while I have them.
This does not lead to the physical results I have longed for in the time frame I longed for.
So here’s what else I have learned, who cares. It’s falling off, an inch or half-inch at a time. It will continue to do so until there isn’t chunks o’ post baby making chub to rid myself of….but I’m really enjoying my life right now. I haven’t felt this satisfied with my life before.
This is something much more meaningful. I discovered this by accident while focusing on my workouts. My very meaningful workouts have led to another chapter in my life. A satisfied one. One where in I feel like I am living on purpose. I am doing exactly what I should be doing in the moments I sense I should be doing them. I’m seizing moments to socialize or network when I would normally isolate myself in the gym. I’m walking outdoors more and taking in the fresh air vs walking on the treadmill. I feel very connected, very alive. Very full. My relationships are deepening as I invest my time into them. I’m focusing on my studies, my personal growth. I’m now working from home and able to use my time to create a new balance in my life. I feel so fortunate right now. I am realizing just how truly fortunate I am.
I sit here reflecting on my day feeling full.
Here’s the thing I love most about working out. It always leads to a deeper connection with self. Investing time in myself leads to this sense of self love that opens me to a new level of appreciation. I know what I am capable of, I know I am capable of more. Every time I set a goal for myself in my workout and achieve it ( a specific weight or rep amount for example), I KNOW I can do MORE. We limit ourselves with our minds and I am no exception.
I’m opening my mind to more and creating more for myself in my life. This is my commitment to self. It reaches far beyond the gym floor.