Straying from the formula

So I am sitting here on a Saturday night…. I’ve already posted so I really should just relax and maybe plop myself in front of the TV. Instead I opted to cruise through existing blogs and see what the world of bloggers had to say. The hubby is out “with the boys tonight” and so with a glass of vino on hand, I surfed.

And now I sit here sobbing.

I do not believe that things happen without a cause or purpose.  

I stumbled across blogs of moms who, like me, have lived through still births.  I sobbed like I haven’t sobbed in some time.

I am almost grateful to know so many other women are living a life like mine, where grief is a huge part of them, as is their celebration of life. I am so blessed to have three amazing children. That said, there is still that gap, that hole that longs to be filled. 

I lost my daughter Marie three years ago. I was twenty one weeks into my pregnancy when we discovered she had passed. That was the most emotionally devastating experience of my life. Sitting with your stillborn child, who looks perfect in every way, is something you cannot convey into words unless you have lived through it.

I know this strays from my regular posts about working out and what not…but I wanted to thank those Mom’s out there who shared themselves with the world.

It’s healing to know you are not alone, even when you know you aren’t sometimes it feels as though you are.

To all the mums out there who live with special angels in their lives, hugs.  


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