A battle of the mind…

You would think in my 37 years I would have retained some of the lessons I have learned and actually apply them from time to time. I lecture my children on retention repeatedly but admit (here, not publicly to them), I am sucking at applying a lesson that applies today. 

I confess at times I get so goal focused I lose touch with myself. When this happens my body screams at me to pay attention and yet somehow I still manage to ignore it. I chalk it up to things like being a busy mom or just having a rough day. That isn’t what is happening and I seriously have to work  at connecting with myself in a more positive fashion. The warning signs have been popping up for weeks. The exhaustion, falling asleep while doing things etc.  It was a gentle knock on my seriously solid noggin to pay attention. I didn’t listen.  

I’ve been so determined to get the inches off and get things in line before I go back to work in the office and in the fitness field that I’ve run myself down.  Totally down. As in right now I have absolutely nothing left.  

I’ve been in bed for days ill beyond what I ever remember being before. I have had the flu before, just not like this!


As a trainer I would advise clients to focus on S.M.A.R.T goal setting. This focus does generate results. What I need to remember to insert into that discussion is to let your body lead, not your mind or your goal. You cannot succeed if you are not in good health and on solid footings. Goals will be achieved when everything else is in check, not the other way around.

I am out of commission this week. I am not back on my feet yet and need to allow myself time to recoup.  I could either totally sulk about this, or learn from it. I say I am going to learn from it right now as I feel like crapatolia but will I retain this noteworthy lesson a few months from now? I hope so, please kick my butt with comments if I don’t!!! 

As for diet, I will eat anything that stays in. I haven’t had Jello in ages as I have this thing against chemicals in food but have to tell you, that chemical stew with sugar was the cat’s ass the past few days!!! I’ve moved onto solids again.  It’s all good. I’ll get back to clean eating once eating is back up to par.  

The whole point of this rant is really a self purge of guilt.  I know better, I know I know better and as a Mom I am supposed to be the example. I am disappointed in myself for letting it get to this.  Yes, it was a virus and sometimes we just can’t do anything about that. But the impact of it is in correlation of my overall condition at the time of impact so to speak.  I have to play smarter to succeed in the long run.

And so the next chapter begins with smarter execution. 

Thinking P90x is going to be brutal next week. I can’t wait.   As twisted as it may sound, I’m really looking forward to a serious workout. 

I am hoping this little rant finds you in good health 🙂



Leave a comment


  1. I totally understand where you’re coming from. I felt so horrible on Monday I slept all day and crashed on Tuesday as well. I dint realize in all the time i spent sleeping I hadn’t been eating so now my body is drained. It’s important to have some sort of balance. I think your children will see their Mom doing all she can to make a positive change and take pride in that. Don’t worry, you still have the drive to workout and you’re doing your best to take care of yourself and the family. Things will fall into place 🙂

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