Renewed enthusiasm, round two.

I would just say renewed enthusiasm except, cough  cough, I’ve been here before. The day after something or another happened wherein you are feeling TOTALLY PUMPED about your mission.  I’m still not ready to get back into the gusto of things, but the enthusiasm, totally there!

The upside to downtime is the time to think. Really think.  I’ve thought a lot about what led to this episode and how to manage it all. That’s the thing, I cannot eliminate anything so it needs to be more effectively managed.

I’m in the midst of hiring a nanny, at the beginning of a one year intense certification program and just over a month away from my return to corporate life on the National Training Team. I am a facilitator, a virtual facilitator for the sales department within The Co-operators, and a Momma on a mission to reclaim her fit self and launch her own business.  NO pressure right?

So apparently my leaning on vino and my husband is not going to cut it. It’s time to “manage” it all and find “balance”. I highlight these words as this is where I am currently sucking. Sure, sure, there are more intelligent sounding words to describe my current situation but “sucking” really works for me right now.  Maybe I’ve just been surrounded by young ones too long. Their vocabulary is really starting to appeal to me vs saying things like “conundrum” !

Tonight is the first of the second round of interviews for the Nanny position we are hoping to fill. Aside from the fact that it is slightly mortifying to relive some  of the first round applicants ( I plan on taking that material to a stage one day when I begin my pursuit of stand-up-comedy-stardom ha ha), it is really taking a toll on me emotionally to think about leaving the kids.

I’ve really enjoyed my time at home. More than I thought I would. I learned more about my kids in one year then in their entire existence thus far. I’ve relied so heavily on teachers and/or daycare providers to fill in the gaps that I had no idea how many gaps existed in what I knew about them.  How awful is that? How sad is it that that was my norm, until now?

I’m struggling with this. I’ve realized in this downtime that this is what is keeping me up at night. This is what is wearing me down. It’s going to take a lot of effort and balancing on my part to find harmony here.  I don’t ever want to know as little about them as I did, even though then I thought I was giving it my all. We have family nights, dinners together,  Sundays designated to us…and yet…I missed so much.

Now I’m going to miss things like just walking the kids to school or picking them up and hearing about their day while it’s all fresh and exciting to share.  I know my working is a good thing, for myself, as well as, for them. It just sucks how much is sacrificed in the name of money.

This was us this morning on route to school…and perhaps what led to this post today.

My little monkeys

My little man has assured me we will “bring it” next week.  He apparently listens to Tony more than I thought…..!

Well it’s time for me to boogie. My little man has selected a quick show for us to snuggle on the couch to before we pick up the eldest of my monkey pack. What are some of your favorite things to do when downtime presents itself?

Wishing you a wonderful day,

Nicole

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