Where did that Irie feeling go mon?

I admit it. I’m writing this hiding in my office praying for ten minutes to de-spaz.  Just a few days ago I was calm, relaxed, totally irie mon. Now, I’m shooting fire out my nostrils and forcing myself to stop and breathe. This is how busy life was before I left and it seemed okay, what’s up with the short fuse now?

My mother in law ran away when we returned from the airport. A few quick updates, you know – oops crashed the van, some issues at school and my youngest turned out to be wilder than previously imagined and then “okay see you!”, she was out. I somehow managed not to froth or be upset in any way, I understand what she was juggling at the age of almost 74. I am 39 and I get tired and want to run ha ha! Besides, I don’t like the van and am now hoping it’s close enough to total the thing. C’mon new car!

This week, albeit two days in only, has me firing off fireballs over everything. Un-eaten lunches, toilets with gifts left quite some time prior, toothpaste gobs in the sink – all have me smoking. It’s like I was never irie at all mon, which has me completely pissed off!

OH MY LORD…all the Lords actually, someone swoop in and paint me a different picture. I don’t like all this work right now. What was I thinking? I also received confirmation I am registered for the early date to attempt certification for a program I am a candidate within and it’s eight weeks away. HAVEN’T TOUCHED the material. For some reason I thought unicorns and rainbows would be waiting for me when I returned from the turning 40/overdue honeymoon/ ten years together as a couple retreat. The signals got crossed, I can’t find a unicorn and there’s no sun to make any rainbows. Where is the Caribbean Sea? What happened to the steel drums? White sand???
unicorns

Maybe that’s why I am pissy – seven days of sun followed by two days of darkness and freezingness ( even the tank less hot water tank froze – WTH?) has me pissy and blowing smoke.

Whatever it is, whatever the cause my timing is (ahem as per usual when I think these thoughts) off. I had thought I’d quit wine for a while post booze-indulgent vacation. So not going to happen, in fact I should probably stop writing and go fire my hubby a “LCBO” text. He knows what that code means……

Anyone else suffering post vacation blues / reality is sucking / where oh where is the sun blues?

Holy Cow Batman…

It’s been a while! The notice of the renewal receipt came in and I thought when was the last time I wrote in there? Apparently last June. Crazy.

That pretty much sums life lately – CrAzY.  All the liars who said going from two kids to three was no big deal – not nice! Not nice to mislead innocent people who have no idea how their world will shift.  It was okay when the youngest didn’t move much. Now – she’s into everything. She’s fearless and tireless, which exhausts me. Combine that with two older kiddos who are creating lives for themselves and there is a lot less downtime. Truthfully, when it does present itself, it’s immediately met with a bottle of wine.

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It’s like a mini celebration every day that I survived at wine time. I pulled it off and no one was harmed in the process. If they were it means after fixing said situation, extra wine that night for getting a gold star in mommy duty. I’m noticing a shift in how this chapter in my life is being experienced. To summarize it – le pooped!

My hubby and I sit side by side on the couch, in front of a fire, staring like zombies at the TV (which sometimes includes stories about zombies).  Sometimes we play scrabble or cards, but that can hurt the brain sometimes. By the time we’ve managed to sit down we are fried. Exhausted. I don’t even know why he’s so tired, I did almost everything! (I can see his eyes rolling right now ha ha)There’s always one spouse in the relationship who, for lack of more polished words, gets the shaft in the home front duties. The hubby works 13-14 hour days. Sure that’s long and hard and blah blah. I cram an 8.5 hour day into 5 hours so that I can pick up the kids from school – tend to them and my work. I then make dinner, do homework, bathe them, practice piano, spaz on them for not eating their lunch, spaz a few more times over fighting/not listening/goofing around at dinner after you were cooking for an hour… you know what I am talking about if you have kids. It’s when all of the hairy stuff between getting home from school and relaxing in one’s own room before bedtime is achieved that he comes home. It’s all rainbows and unicorns then. He has no idea why my hair is as big as Diana Rosses and why I have smoke wafting out of my ears. 

It’s the insanity of being a working parent. I have moments I love. They make everything else worth while but in the meantime, I am so pleased to have been reminded I have a space to just release this shit out and be free! I feel so much lighter already and I really didn’t talk about anything….

There are certain things in your life you can’t put words to in terms of explaining how it makes you feel. There’s always been something about writing for me…regardless of the subject or cause or purpose. Random words on a page still had purpose, even if only to me.

With a big smile on my face I’m going to flip into reading mode. There are some incredible talented people sharing some of themselves via their written word. I’m looking forward to seeing what it is they had to say…it’s been way too long.

What are some of the blogs you are enjoying following right now?

 

Vino…..

I was standing in the school yard the other morning yapping with a friend whose children attend the same school.  Somehow or another we got talking wine.

It makes me smile when I think of how many conversations I’ve had lately wherein wine came up. We start off talking like we are modest consumers…and then somehow a few minutes later we are both confessing to multiple bottle experiences on multiple occasions per week. 

I’ve lied to every Doctor I have about the volume of vino I consume. When I confess to 7-10 glasses per week they are mortified and review how women absorb and react to alcohol differently than men and thus I am to proceed with extreme caution. Yet regardless of the warnings and/or my bodies own physical revolt to my behavior…it continues. I really, really enjoy it.

I work by day and many times night (coaching practice is growing YAY), parent by evening and then once the lunches are made, kiddos are asleep, toys tidied, laundry folded (and maybe on a really, really good day put away the same day)…I plop my butt on the couch. Directly beside me, my partner in crime AKA my husband. He is a custom cabinet maker by day and usually is unable to even take ten minutes as a break or space to himself upon arrival home. He’s the victim of absence. I work from home. They see me. He works at the shop….they miss him. He walks in the door and BLAM….like flies on flypaper.  For me it is absolutely awesome and I count down the minutes until he arrives. I smile, ask about his day and know full well I will likely never hear the full response as the kids are already attacking him.  It’s our little routine and it completely works for me….the calm before the dinner storm. 

Some days the wine opens at five. Oh who am I kidding, most days there’s wine at 5.  That’s when I am preparing dinner with three children hanging off me….picking at what I am preparing. Some days openly whining while I prepare it about their displeasure with my selection or a want for something I don’t have in the house. Like Salmon. I really dislike fish.  I can’t cook it. The smell puts me right over the edge and then I can’t eat it. It has to be BBQ’d to keep the cooking of fish smell out of the house….. 

I know some will be reading this thinking OMG She is a total alcoholic. By their standards I guess I am. What makes me feel better about it is that I’m totally not alone. I’m really quite normal by comparison to those around me. They are good people!! So am I…. besides…when I use my big goblets…it’s just a glass a day…….

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via Google

For the wine lover….

For the wine lover....

So my style…just had to share.

Summa wine

It’s cookin’ outside today and I’ve spent much of the day listening to people complain about it. Although I will admit it’s more humid than I would like, it’s a gorgeous sunny day.  It’s too hot to do much outside NOW, but in a few hours it’s going to be perfect for sitting outside with my hubby and a bottle of vino. Put on some music, chill at the backyard bar and voila – you have one perfecto Friday evening.  We’ll skip the fire tonight, it’s a tad warm for that. It’s never to warm for wine…

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courtesy of google

Or beer…..

Or rum punch. Hmmm I may have a theme for tonight – booze. It’s been a long day, a long week and I can’t wait to do nothing tomorrow. It’s a stay-at-home and play all day with the kiddos kind of day . Awesome.  I’m busting out the pop up pool.  I’m dusting off the bathing suit. It may not be the gorgeous in-ground pool I fantasize about having BUT it will do. I’m looking forward to plopping myself in it. 

How do you celebrate your summer nights? Is it ever to hot for wine? 

Spring Fever in early March…

Although I appreciate what I am about to say puts me in the “you sound old” bracket, I’m excited. My seeds have arrived!!!!  It’s almost gardening time!

My package from Greta’s Organic Gardens has arrived and it’s time to get down to gardening business! Why Organic? So I know they are not GMO 🙂

A few years back my husband and I moved into the house we currently own ( I say currently as we intend to move one last time and really change our lives forever – details to follow).  At that time we thought this would be the house we stay in forever and so we renovated, landscaped and worked our butts off to make this our own little space ( I proudly boast I insulated the house etc. as we really did do this together for our family). One huge change for us was that we started to grow our own food. We created what we coin our “WOP” garden (my husband is Italian ha ha) with a rustic style chicken coup fence and started to see what we could produce. The first year was a disaster. We did manage to grow a few zucchini’s and cucumbers, but the rest, yeeesh. Two more  years of moderate success followed.

Last year, a HUGE improvement.  We successfully grew; carrots, swiss chard, green onions, spinach, lettuce,  beets, 2 different types of cucumbers, zucchini, hot peppers, field peppers, six spices, strawberries and three varieties of tomatoes.

Early in the summer of 2011..this is half of our garden.

This year – we’re expanding. There’s something incredible about watching your kids get excited to eat the food they grew and cared for.

So what’s on the menu this year? We’re attempting: leeks, beets, Habanero peppers,  hot Portuguese peppers,  broccoli, carrots, 2 types of cucumbers, 3 types of tomatoes, six spices, watermelon, cantaloupe, lettuce, butternut squash and last but not least, strawberries.  I can’t wait to walk out and pick out what we want for dinner.  Awesome.

We feel very fortunate to live in Mississauga, Ontario and have the space to do this.  We live in an older style pocket of homes that are small yet situated on large lots.  The trees are mature and the neighborhood is very friendly and warm.  So why leave then?

Life is meant to be more than this for us,  we feel it.

My husband and I have decided that this is the year we finish off the last of the few details of our house and we sell what was once our “dream home” and we create our   “forever home”.

We’re moving out of the “big city” and heading lakeside in a smaller but somewhat “big” city.  We have the ability to offer our kids a very different life.  We want to seize that opportunity while they are young and before things like high school and not knowing anyone become an issue. They need to lay their roots and establish their lives.

I’m so fortunate my job allows me this flexibility – I’m virtual. As long as I can log in – I’m not fired.

Part of this dream is to grow most of our food year round. We are looking to buy several acres of land, build a bungalow (with a gym room for Mom!!), a separate  workshop for my hubby ( he is a cabinet-maker/custom wood worker), a bunk-house for guests that doubles as my office for facilitating and create a much more relaxed life for ourselves. No traffic,  no commutes to work….just us in a great community living a life we’ve talked about many times (mostly over vino  –  more so as more bottles are emptied ha ha) making the most of this life we have been given.

I will share with you this…

This past November I said goodbye to not just my uncle, but one of my closest friends. He was 43. He died of cancer. He was extremely fit, ate only clean foods, worked out daily. He had a huge laugh, many friends and dreams he talked about all the time. At 41 he was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I watched him struggle with the thought of leaving this life so early and without having attempted to live some of the dreams he spoke of.  He had managed to pay off his mortgage and had his savings for those dreams he dreamed of – in other words he worked hard in the hopes of tomorrow.

My uncle / friend: Dave Hurley

In the end his lesson to me was don’t wait.  Don’t talk about tomorrow when you have the gift of today.  Don’t make a list of things you dream about and leave them on a shelf – go for them. There is a way to make everything happen if you are willing to work for it, go for it and seize the moment.

He is a huge part of why I am pushing myself to be the best me. The healthiest me, the most balanced me, the adventurous me…..

If you could change your life and pursue a dream, what would it be? 

 

 

Zut alore! Bust open the Vino!!!

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!

We found a nanny!!! I am so relieved. I think I might actually sleep, really sleep for the first time in ages tonight.

Of course it may be as a result of the mass quantity of vino I intend to consume. Now that we found her, I’m going to be broke! Must celebrate with the good stuff before I give it up!!

I can already feel my finger nails growing back and my shoulders relaxing.  Thank all the gods for this one…..PHEW.

Wishing you a wonderful Friday!

And to all the vino drinkers out there, cheers!!!!!!

🙂

Nicole

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