40. t-minus 4 months to go….

What I am about to say may horrify the male reader. IF you need to believe your woman will never grow chin hairs or experience funky biological changes, turn away now. N.O.W. This is a bitch fest venting post about turning forty and depending on what you need to believe, you may or may not want to read on….

And now he’s saying “whaaaa?” What the hell is this woman crabbing about? Apparently, today, EvErYtHiNg. somethign else I am discovering. Having your monthly does mean turning psycho. Something new, something unfamiliar, something common amoungst the ladies I know turning 40….

What is up with this? Suddenly in one moment I am happy, laughing away at the humorous side of life. The next, fire balls are shooting out of my eyeballs followed by a blast of hot air that is my opinion on everything unfolding in that moment. I feel how ridiculous I am but i will NOT accept defeat in that moment. Fire, spew of hot air, smoke in thy face – you shall feel my wrath and shut it~!!! W.T.F??? Who am i? Who is this dragon bursting out of me every 21-28 days?

I cannot even pretend it’s all fire balls. Sometimes it’s tears. Tears over EvErYtHiNg. A commercial, The Voice, A news piece… I go from one extreme to the other. What’s worse, it’s always at “my time of the month”. Once upon a time my husband joked “all chicks are crazy”. I hate I am proving his hyposthesis correct…but apparently it is correct. The more people I talk to the more I realize we are all changing, stressed, somewhat insane and hilarious all at the same time. How do we stand one another in this time of change?

Mother Nature does play fair. She shoots random hairs out of random places of people’s body as they age but it’s BOTH sexes that undergoe funkiness..many just choose to only acknowledge the ladies. I say F that!!! Let’s play with the men the same way. I call you on your random ear hair, go ahead and call me on my chin ! I see moobs and random back hairs that match new mustaches and changes in the way our bodies look. 

When I weight this against some of what was at 20 I think you know, this isn’t so bad. Try to remember how insane you were at twenty… would you really want to go back?

I may be insane a few days of the month (which I will deny admitting to as my husband does nothing online 😉   ) but overall, this is a pretty amazing time in life. There’s no second guessing anything now. It’s more of a F you if you don’t agree and I’ve already moved on m’ther f’er (said in a Samual Jackson kind of tone) attidude that is ruling the beginning of this next chapter in my life. That never would have happened twenty years ago. I went from lost to found.

How about you?
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I had aunts with hairy moles that freaked me out as a child. My fear, karma is shooting random chin hairs out now for my previous  judgements….

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